Without going into too much detail, I must share what will be at the forefront of my thoughts and passion and will require my undivided attention for the next few months. On Monday, February 23rd, the Doctors found a 3 cm by 3 cm mass mediastinum where the lungs branch off. My windpipe, normally to be in the shape of a "D," is now in a comma shape, due to the mass and it's position. Scary, but nothing I'm not afraid to tackle. As a smoker of less than a pack a day for nearly 30 years, this was a phone call I thought I might receive someday that had been perched in the cognition of my brain for a long time. I just didn't anticipate getting it this early in life.
The purpose of this blog is two-fold. First, I would like to use it as an avenue to emote my feelings, thoughts and worries, and to document the journey. Secondly, it is a way to inform those of you close to me without having to continuously explain and discuss what is transpiring.
Today I had the first of two tests at Heartland Hospital: A breathing test and procedure, called a bronchoscopy. The Doctor informed my husband and sister, my two touchstones and moral support figures in my life, that he feels he was able to get a good sample. I may know for sure what exactly the mass is on Monday, March 2nd if the Doctor was able to get what he needed. I've confidence in the Doctors abilities. I also appreciate his straightforwardness with me regarding the message.
I'm optimistic. I'm also rational. Regardless of any type of prognosis, I'm grateful my life has been enriched, blessed, and a roller-coaster ride of fun, and complete with wonderful family and friends.
I will strive to move on as if everything is normal. My positive attitude and zany persona is what will make this trek bearable.
I want no sympathy, tears or pity. I want only to ask you to give all your positive thoughts, prayers, vibes and karma to successfully resolving this dilemma, and helping me trudge through the unknown road that awaits me.
Please continue to pray.
Thank You,
Julie 2-25-2009
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