A twittery mind....

Whew!
School today was very tough. I had persuaded myself that I would be able to hold focus and resume my duties as if my world has not been rocked. Sometimes I think we talk ourselves into behaviors, fully and confidently thinking we’re invincible and we’ve got our day mapped and planned out. I found out I can talk myself into one staunch expectation of myself, but actually carrying it out is more difficult. I don’t know how I sailed though a lesson on the six simple machines in Science; understanding context clues in English, and helping a student create a poster on a decade of his choice (the 70’s) in History. I was lucky to have a few paraprofessionals in my classroom that provided a tremendous assistance when I needed to go “walkabout” and let my mind race, and hide a few tears. It’s a terrible trick that the mind tends to wander in situations like this. In one moment, my world is normal and everything is sailing along peacefully. Then, in an instant, reality and fear set in, and both positive and fearful thoughts consume thought processes. I’ve talked myself into positive thoughts and prayers, but it’s very tough trying to channel the mind into one train of thought, one direction of emotions. I had a tough time answering students’ questions about my recent absences, and with an inhaler sitting on my desk, simply told them I think I have asthma. Believe me, it does not create warm fuzzies being dishonest with students, but, it is something that must be done.
I’m prepared for whatever news awaits me Monday afternoon at the Doctor’s Office. Life would be grand if he were to say: “Julie, you’re a medical oddity..You’ve a third boob growing…”
My new motto, thanks to my lovely touchstone sister is: “LIVE WELL, LOVE MUCH, LAUGH OFTEN”
It has always been my mantra, and it will continue to be!
Keep the prayers coming...
Julie
2/26/2009