"A complicated puzzle.. and a scooter ride"

A complicated puzzle…and a scooter ride

Today had to be the slowest day of my life. The apprehension in waiting for news regarding your mortality is absolutely horrendous. Once we got to the KU Cancer Center, I could tell my heart rate was increasing, but somehow I was able to trudge through the formalities of signing in and filling out paperwork. It amazed me and I commented to my husband, sister and mother-in-law that I think I was probably the youngest person in there. I did see some people that looked a similar age, but I still felt too young to be sitting in the waiting room. What's amazing is when you're in a waiting room at a Cancer center, your story is no different than every other person in that room.
I was a little preoccupied and had to go "walkabout" several times. As a connoisseur of knowledge my entire life, I found myself in the "Brandmeyer Patient Resource Center." This was an amazing library adjacent to the waiting room that had information and literature on every kind of cancer imaginable. I was impressed, and the teacher in me was so complimentary and amazed at how impressive this library was. What a tremendous asset this is in assisting those of us stricken with this dreaded disease and understanding this fog called "Cancer."
When they called my name, I felt like it was a slow-motion march to the patient room. Once Dr. Karen Kelly arrived, we were pleased at the warm presence she exhibited, and were anxious for the news. She showed us the information from all the scans on the computer, and told us which "red" hot spots to look for. She informed us it is technically "Stage IV" but we have several options and she's aggressively going to attack this. Looking at the computer reminded me of those “Lite Brite” toys we had as children. It was colorful. I did see the “hot spots” and know what needs to be attacked. I’m fortunate this Doctor has an aggressive plan of action, and I’m ready to start this venture. I told her to lay down the hoops and I would not only jump through them, but be a “fun” study as well.
The ball is rolling, and I’ve my first radiation appointment Friday to find out the first course of action. Radiation and Chemo will both be utilized as of now, but I’ll know more on Friday. I’m just ready to get the ball rolling. I’ve felt suffocated in traffic, in parking garages and on Rainbow Boulevard. I’m slowly feeling less stressed and less claustrophobic now that I know what I’m dealing with.
When I got home, the first thing I saw in my garage was my Schwinn scooter. I so wanted to hop on it, go for a ride, and let my hair fly. I can’t wait until spring when the weather warms up and I can hop on my freedom ride and let my worries go. Or smack the shit out of a golfball.
Love and Prayers
Julie